Another Angel

Several weeks ago I saw a message on facebook from a friend of mine requesting prayers for a baby that was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. The parents were told it was terminal and didn't give him much time. I was so heartbroken over the news, so mad that yet another baby would leave this earth much too soon. I prayed for that dear family, for their strength, and for their sweet son to leave his parents arms peacefully without pain.

He passed away this week. He was four months old.

What I didn't realize was that he was the son of a good family friend. A guy that was like a big brother to me growing up. It hit even harder when I knew it was his baby, and that HE was the one that had to bury his first child. He was so undeserving of this, but I know why God gave that sweet boy to him. He had a nurturing soul, a gentle touch and a happy glow you could see for miles. That is the kind of dad that baby boy needed in his short life. I am so glad he got him as a daddy, was loved and snuggled by him, it's such a blessing.

I haven't spoke to him in years, but was drawn to send him an e-mail expressing my deep condolences for his loss. It is just unimaginable, the pain he must be living in. I wish I could take it all back for him, I know all too well what it feels like to have your dreams shattered, but I was able to rebuild mine and I pray someday he will too. Although he is in a much deeper place than I was ever in, after all, I still have my son. I thank God for him.

I wanted to explain to him, that even though I didn't lose my son, I know how it feels to have life be flipped upside down before my eyes. I told him briefly about Truitt, and how he has severe brain damage, and how it changed my life forever too. I wanted him to know, as hard as it is, it will get better. His response was, "He is blessed to have you as a mom Lauren, I'm sure he is so loved. Who needs a brain anyway, when he has a heart?"

I cried when I read those words. It is so true. Truitt's heart is beating, he is the happiest baby I know, and I am ashamed I ever get upset about his brain injury. Even though as a mom it's so easy to do, there are moms out there who would do anything for their baby to still be alive, to still have a beating heart. I know what Ben was saying, who cares if his brain is imperfect, his heart gives him life. A tiny heart, giving him a life that I am so grateful for.

God Bless that sweet little Preston James. Heaven has a beautiful new angel tonight.