On Friday morning Jan came by with Help Me Grow to go over the results of Truitt evaluation. He does qualify for in home therapy services, because he is very delayed. Which I totally expected to hear. I am ok with it, and I know that this is what he needs. Unfortunately while Jen was here, I hit an all time low. I think I keep all of my emotions bottled up inside, and when she asked how I was doing, I fell apart. All of my pain and worries came pouring out through my tears. Poor Jen couldn't help but cry with me.
We talked for a long time about everything I am going through. How I never realized that it would get harder, not easier. She has such a strong heart, and such good advice for me on how to handle my hopes and fears on the same plate. She is going to try and put me in touch with another mother in my position with a baby close to Truitt's age. I think it would be so nice to have someone to lean on that knows how I feel. Some one I can cry to, and laugh with. A "special" mother soul mate. Everyone of us needs one.
A little update on Truitt. We are still seeing some small seizures, roughly 5-10 a day. So discouraging. We go in to see the neurologist on Thursday, so I am hoping we can figure things out and talk about what the next steps are. I am still hopeful this could all be a reaction to the Topamax, and a slight increase of Keppra will do the job. We'll see, waiting around is becoming a full time job for me. Ouch.
We are seeing some more improvement in his head control, and lots more giggling. That is my biggest stress reliever. It's all I need to chalk it all up to a good day no matter what has happened. Oh how he makes me melt. Mmm... I love him.
We also transitioned Truitt into his "big boy" car seat this weekend. That infant seat was just way to heavy, I struggled to make it from the car to Target's entrance the other day, so I knew the day had come. Nothing shall hold me back from getting into Target's doors! I am slightly nervous about grocery shopping, or an shopping that involves a cart for that matter. He doesn't have good upper body control and can't sit on his own, so it will be difficult for him to sit in a cart. I have a few ideas, so I will let you know what I figure out. It's sure to be interesting. Again, story of our life.
Yes, he was safely strapped in for the ride, I was in the process of taking him out when I decided he looked way to cute for me to pass up catching this adorable photo.
Hope you all had a beautiful weekend!
2 comments:
About those tears.....they say if you feel you can heal.... and those tears are one emotion that is a real release and very necessary! Let them flow freely, honestly you feel so much better afterwards! Everyone should cry...sometime we cry when were happy or sad! That's just the way it us. Arn't we glad we have that escape valve, if not we would probably blow up from all the pressure that builds ;0). I remember as a young Mother of 4 small children and Grandpa worked long hours...I had to do everything myself...at first I felt sorry for myself and then one day I said " this is your life", accept it and make the best of it. I knew it wouldn't be easy but it was my life, to make it through each day I had to accept the things I couldn't change! The is no comparison to what your going through except no matter what our situation is "acceptance" is so vital to getting through the day! Your on the right path and you to will get there!
Love Grandma McFarland
Wow wise advise from Grandma McFarland! I heard "the Climb" the other day and thought of you! It is a great song and it will get you through! I am a strong believer in finding an inspirational song and this one is perfect! We love you! The girls are taking turns with a stomach bug so hopefully we can get here next week!
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