Frustrated

Truitt was back to his happy go lucky self today. We did lots of running around town and he was all smiles, all day. It has been weeks since he has been so happy. He didn't cry all day, even staying with grandma and grandpa for a while to let Greg and I run to the grocery store. Thank you Truitt!

Two days ago he started on his full therapeutic dose of the new seizure medication, Topamax. Although I like to think he seems to be having less seizures, its so hard to tell. They look so much like a muscle twitch or spasm, which he is also seeming to have, so it has turned into a guessing game. Muscle spasm or seizure? You would think seizures would be obvious, even in a baby. Nope. That would be way to easy. They all look the same.

I consume myself with thinking he is just laying there having seizures that are further damaging his brain. Yet I'm at a standstill because the neurologist has yet to make any decisions (sigh). It is so discouraging. It's not their child, so what's the rush? To me it is torture. One is too many and he is potentially having 15 to 20 seizures daily. It can't be good, but must not be bad enough for the doctor's to be too concerned with momentarily.

Oh the many joys of having a sick child. Hopefully by tomorrow we will hear something from neurology. If not, I am so very tempted to take him to the ER, I don't know how much more I can take, honestly. I will break down their doors to get an answer. He can't do it, so I will. Something has to be done for him. Its heartbreaking to witness him struggling with his own body. Its rips me apart inside.

Please God help this sweet boy. We need to help him, he has such a promising future, and I can't let that be ripped away from him.