I'm not crazy.

*Sorry for such a long post...but I am so happy about the information I found.*

So these last few months, well more like ever since I found out Truitt's head was not growing enough, I have been driving myself crazy wondering. Wondering what it means for his future, what we can do to better his development, and most of all is there truly no hope?

The Neurologist doesn't seem as concerned. Yes, she admitted it's not a good thing, and they don't ever want to see a child's head not grow as it should, but what he is doing is most important. That is what I am holding on to. Given that there is nothing they can do to make it grow, why worry about something we can't control?

The pediatrician on the other hand, says it is devastating. Oh yes, every bit of the word according to them, and they rub it all up in our face making sure we know. They give me the impression that there is absolutely no hope and he will grow up to be severely mentally and physically disabled child. I have never believed it. He doesn't show those signs. Yes, fine he is a little delayed physically, but nothing I don't think he can overcome. He will, he is doing fantastic. As far as his emotional and cognitive, I feel he is right on.

Don't get me wrong, I by no means expect him to grow into a perfectly normal child that meets every developmental milestone on time, but I know in my heart he will not be that bad. I have so much hope for him, and love him to pieces, he is my son. I wish I was not having to fight with my emotions over his lack of head growth. Who cares? He is doing good and that is what matters most.

It makes me fighting mad when those doctor's treat us that way. After all he is our baby, we love him just as much as any of you love your healthy children. We don't care what he is like, or how big or small his head is. What do they expect, us to just give up and walk out on him? Who would do that, we are his parents. We will fight for him, love him, cherish him, and provide him with every little tiny thing we can to better his life. I will never understand why they make his head growth sound like such a catastrophic finding, and pointlessly hound us about it. We don't care, we love him and his small head.

So on to why I am posting about his dead end topic yet again. I researched Microcephaly (the term for a condition in which the head doesn't grow appropriately) and found some promising information. I found that in severe cases in which babies are born with abnormally small heads, it is an indicator of mental retardation, otherwise known as Primary Microcephaly. Secondary Microcephaly is what Truitt falls under (although he has not been diagnosed). It is a developed condition occurring after birth that is typically caused by an insult to the brain (which Truitt had) or a genetic condition.

As far as the prognosis for this secondary condition, I found that some children will only have mild disability. Others, especially if they are otherwise growing and developing normally, will have normal intelligence and will go on to develop and meet appropriate milestones. Again this does not tell me that Truitt will be fine, but it gives me hope. It is surely not the size of the brain, but its abilities to function normally that is the most critical.

So there you have it, I now hope to put that concern behind me and no longer worry about something that only God can control. I will continue to stimulate Truitt, read to him and do all that I can to help him to be the best that he can be.

Truitt, mommy loves your cute little head. It is the perfect size to snuggle right into my arms!

Lauren